So you're sitting at home on a random night, there's nothing good on TV but you keep flicking through the channels. Your friends invited you out but you declined. Now you're wishing you had just given in to the peer pressure and met up with them. You decide to surf the internet and you see them...you flip through the channels and you are bombarded with them. You wonder just how effective they are. Nobody in their right mind would ever call or click, or would they? Then you start wondering why they are so abundant if they never work at all, so some people must be providing the positive reinforcement to keep them going. Are they the weirdos and social misfits living in their mom's basement?
Of course I am talking about the abundance of ads we see everyday. I am bombarded with ridiculous ads every time I log into Facebook claiming I can "get a hot girlfriend today", "meet hot girls in your area", "have girls lining up to date you", "have any woman I desire", and even "meet hot (fill in the foreign nationality) women" just by clicking on the link. You mean to tell me it is THAT easy? Maybe all this time I have been needlessly making it all harder than it could be. I feel like an idiot now. Leave it to me to make everything more difficult than it needs to be. I've been wasting all this time talking to people who have english as their first language. Now I know better. Thanks Facebook. I mean look at the ad above, who in their right mind would not want a free trip to Costa Rica with their family to meet up with the woman in the dental floss bathing suit??The TV ads are even worse. They show the scantily clad women laying on a bed chatting on the phone all the while talking to the camera. She is amazing at multitasking and quite attractive to boot. She looks so happy to be staying in on a Saturday night talking on her home phone. It must be amazingly stimulating conversation on the other end of the phone. I have to say I am a bit jealous as I eat my Cherry Garcia ice cream and wonder what the hell they are chatting about. Maybe she is discussing the stock market and the economy. Gas Prices? International trading with China, Obama's first year in office? Maybe her new pedicure or a new shade of nail polish...or just maybe how she is getting paid to make a ridiculous commercial. Do people actually think there is any chance they are talking to this girl when they call the number? I'm guessing chances are you will be talking to a 300lb circus freak lady with hair in her belly button and grease stains on her 2XL tshirt. Please somebody hold me back. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. I can't seem to forget the old school commercials where there were like three women dressed in leather outfits of different varieties all around a large fence. They are singing the "Pick up the phooooooooooone, I'm all aloooooooooone...pick up the phone pick up the phone". They start climbing on the fence and grabbing on it and shaking it like the fence is the only thing holding them back from getting to you. For only $5.99 a minute you can make that fence magically disappear and speak to one of these women on the phone. It's a steal of a deal at twice the price really, what are you waiting for? Well if you are like me you are waiting for this idiot commercial to be over and for the informercial for the "Snuggie" to come on.
Stay thirsty my friends...
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