COCKTAILS & DREAMS

Coughlin's Law: Anything else is always something better. Also known as the grass is always greener. The grass is not always greener, sometimes the other grass is dead and you're just an idiot. This has got to be the biggest reason why relationships fail. "Oh you don't like Grey's Anatomy?? You dick, I'll find someone who does!". The only problem is that the guy that likes Grey's Anatomy is a closet homosexual. Thanks for coming out, better luck next time.

Coughlin's Law: Bury the dead, they stink up the place. Live for the future, get over the past. Easier said than done but it will make life a lot easier if you can.

Coughlin's Law: It doesn't matter how liberated this world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not. Self explanatory, men brag about how much they can drink and a woman likes a man that can hold his liquor and not act like a clown.

Coughlin's Law: When you see the color of their panties, you know you've got talent. Stick with me son and I'll make you a star. Not touching that one.

Coughlin's Law: Never show surprise, never lose your cool. Be ready for anything. Things are the most likely to happen when you least expect them. If you expect everything, then nothing happens. The exception to this is the lottery, never expect to win it. Every time I buy my $2 ticket I legitimately think I am going to win. I make plans for how I will spend my jackpot and I never win. I am quite certain this is because I have the plan in place. Unfortunately it is a habit now and I can't break it so learn from my mistake.

Coughlin's Law: Never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far away she is, she'll always hear you. So true. It may take the route of 10 different people and thousands of miles to get there, but it will get back to her. Never underestimate how diabolical a woman can be when exacting revenge. Hell hath no fury indeed. Do not tell your friends, and under no circumstances tell a stranger. If you absolutely need to do something with the knowledge write it on a piece of paper but then burn it immediately and crumple the ashes. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Coughlin's Law: The Luck is gone / the brain is shot / but the liquor we still got. Cheers!