Vegas Recap

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath to hear all about my fantastic Vegas adventures. What happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay in Vegas. This is especially true since none of us committed any crimes or had to bury anyone. I will do my best to recreate the experience here for your reading enjoyment.

3 of us flew out of Toronto at 8:30pm local time, putting touchdown in Vegas at 2:40am our time. We checked into the hotel (the Imperial Palace). Shawn put $20 into the slot machine and went all the way down to $2 before skyrocketing up to $35 (I only mention this because it seemed to be a familiar trend to Shawn while we were there) and it seemed a good omen for the trip. We then met up with the rest of the crew (7 of us in all) and started walking up the strip looking for a liquor store. It's always a great idea to start drinking at 3am in the morning, it's Vegas! After much walking and late-night sightseeing we found a bar that boasted $2 Margaritas, $2 draft and $2 tacos. What the hell else do you need? Especially at 6:30am. Answer - NOTHING except maybe the $7 pitchers of beer they also had. An older asian lady came over to the table to serve us. She took my order first and I said "a pitcher of beer" and she asked how many glasses. I replied with a completely straight face "Just one". She gave me a look like I had 3 heads but surely I could not have been the first person to order a pitcher of beer all for himself. I prefer to go off the beaten path and having 3 older brothers growing up has hampered my willingness to share. Anytime you can do $7 pitchers at 7am with 7 people you have to do it. No I am not an alcoholic, but thanks for your concern. That pretty much did it for the first night. When we got back to the hotel there were three of us guys staying in one room with 2 double beds. Sleeping arrangements were worrisome. That is until we did a covert mattress heist of the spare bed from the next room where Joe and Jana were conveniently staying. Problem solved. Everyone can sleep soundly without fear of being spooned.

The beauty of Vegas is partially due to the time difference, 3 hours behind Eastern time. This allows you to sleep in most of the day and essentially miss nothing at all. This happened a lot. In the next few days we walked down the strip and hit a place boasting $1 Blackjack, $1 shots and $1 beers. I had a brilliant plan of us throwing in $100 and getting 100 shots, but unfortunately the $1 shots were not to be had. We drank a ton of $1 beers instead, when life gives us lemons we make lemonade dammit! The party train cannot be derailed in Vegas. We then proceeded to Old Vegas. I had never been there at night and I must say it is something to see with all the lights and the general debauchery. We lucked into finding a zip-lining spot that let us zip-line most of the way through the Old Vegas strip. There are huge light shows that take place on the roof at night and it is quite amazing to fly down over top of the pedestrians while the crazy lights are going overhead. It helps to be a little intoxicated as well. From there we hit some random casino for food and then to Mermaids for the football drinks. We were so excited for these from the last time we were there, but sadly they no longer did the free pour of the booze. All great things do come to an end. It was pre-made into a slushie and was a bit tame, way too sweet. Still a great place to hit and cross off the to-do list.

Oh the food we ate, I can't accurately describe it in a limited space. Vegas is the epitome of overindulgence so it stands to reason you don't halfass the food aspect. The Aria buffet (very good by the way), KGB (excellent gourmet burgers), Ellis Island ($7 steak special that includes not only a great steak, but also a starter salad or soup, and a pint of their brewed-on-site beer, phenomenal). There was one particular breakfast place we had on the to-do list before we even left. The place is called Hash House A Go Go and it was said to be amazing and definitely worth checking out. There were a few places we went to that kicked my ass and this place was one of them. I can eat, a lot. Sometimes I surprise myself by how much food I can put away. Let's just say I was no match for this place. We were a group of 4 large guys so I thought we'd run through whatever they put in front of us. WRONG. This place kicked all our asses. I ordered a "Hand Hammered Pork Tenderloin". Prices were a little on the high side, but what was placed in front of me was more than 2 normal people could ever eat. I have attached a picture and the picture does not even do it justice. I ate about 3/4 of it and thought I may die. If you're ever in Vegas check it out, it will make you gasp in a pleasant way.

Now let's move on to the drinking. There was much. It would be almost impossible to be in Vegas and not drink excessively. We went to one club called Voodoo that offers an amazing view of the Strip as well as one of the craziest drinks I have ever experienced. It's an amazing concoction with the appropriate name of the Witch Doctor. It is a huge goblet filled with dry ice and 4 different kinds of alcohol. The result is a bubbling, smoking, violent red mixture. Quite something to behold and we had 2-for-1 COUPS! That's how we roll.

The other spot that kicked my ass was a bar named Blondies Sports Bar. We were walking down the strip checking out the casinos when we realized it was after 4pm and we had not had one single drink yet. How did this happen?? We went to this sports bar at 4:45 and quickly discovered that there was an "all-you-can-drink 3-6pm for $20" promotion happening. Doing the quick math, it came down to can you drink your money's worth in 75 minutes? It's a challenge we couldn't wait to accept. 4 of us walked up to the bar and ordered 4 mixed drinks (you could only get yourself one at a time). My weapon of choice? Rum and coke. Looking back on it, that was poor planning on my part since rum usually knocks me on my ass. We drank the first drink in 5 seconds while standing at the bar and got another. I think you can see where this is going. Throw a fairly hot, very attentive bartender into the mix and my fate was sealed. I drank at least 10 rum and cokes in 75 minutes. After leaving that fine establishment, Shawn and I decided it was a good idea to share a pitcher of beer and a eat a few $2 tacos. There's nothing like throwing gasoline on a fire. I don't remember too much more of that night, but sadly for the best I pulled the plug and was in bed at 8:30pm fully clothed. That is one of the things I have learned in my life, sometimes it is just better to pull the plug when it is almost certain bad things will happen otherwise. That is maturity bitches! Or a weak showing, but I'll call it maturity.

Overall a great trip and great times with some great people. What's not to like about that? No hangovers or sicknesses to report at all. Until next time, keep winning.