Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Swimming with the Dirty Mermaid

As I have previously blogged, Dickie and crew are heading on an epic Vegas trip tomorrow evening. It will be insane if it is half as much fun as we believe it can potentially be. As "The JLS" said today "this trip will revolutionalize life!". It definitely has that sort of potential.

One of the places high on the list of things to do/places to go is a casino in old Vegas called "Mermaids". Last time we were there wild times were had by all. What is the reason for hitting up Mermaids you ask? Think of life size plastic football. Now think of this football filled with alcohol. The waitress asked us if we wanted our drinks "strong" or "extra strong". Being manly men we almost all decided on "extra strong", except for the babies that got beer (totally inexcusable in my eyes). Here is what "extra strong" means - about 80% hard liquor, then maybe 10-15% mix. Cost of the football - $14. Please tip your server. Done. If you bring back the football, refills are like $8. I cannot overstate how much fun it is just to drink crazy strong drinks out of a football. Oh yes and this does not even talk about the deep fried monstrosities available at this place - deep fried Twinkies, deep fried Oreos, chocolate drizzled bananas, etc. Throw in a $6 prime rib dinner along the way and you're laughing, old Vegas sampled in all its glory.

Here are some quotes from actual customer reviews of the Mermaid. Enjoy.

-"The ultimate in cheap and drunken dining on Fremont.  Saying a place has "character" is just saying its a great hole in the wall.  And this place certainly has that!!  On that note...I would never eat here sober. "

- "Defintiely not for the faint of heart munchers but I say its worth trying at least once!"

- "Oh, Mermaid's Casino, how I'm fond of thee.With your ghetto style little casino with your overly strong drinks that cross between consumable and something similar to Windex..."

- "At least they gave me a shiny string of Mardi Gras beads to wear to my funeral when I suffer from a Mermaid's-induced sweet, cakey, creamy heart attack."

- "The crowd is A+, too.  Last time I was there, I was next to a lady who was probably celebrating her latest welfare check from a nearby trailer park, and she was going on and on about how I was on the lucky machine, because she won a whole whoppin $60 on it a couple weeks ago!!!  Now you just don't get that kind off high-roller glam at the Bellagio or Aria!"

- "Drinks are insanely strong. And they have no problem with two at a time. The old fashioned slot machines are awesome-nothing beats winning five dollars in nickels. "

- "I've never gambled here-- I only come to enjoy their fine culinary delecacies: chili cheese dogs, chili chese fries, and deep fried Oreos (MUCH better than deep fried Twinkies). Wash it all down with a football of pina colada or PBR, and you've got yourself a meal. Make sure you go into the main entrance so you can get free mardi gras beads and a ticket to some random raffle that no one ever wins."

- "Wanna get drunk as a skunk under 5 bucks?? Just sit at a machine over here and play pennies while cocktail waitresses bring you drinks incessantly. The moment you walk in they take your order. I suggest the "Adios Motherf*ucker". You'll thank me later."

- "Mermaid's is SO much fun! Where else can you get beads from drag queens as you walk in, yards of crazy flavored slushy alcohol, Nathan's hot dogs for a buck, and shots for $2? NOWHERE! "

- "Mermaids is a freaking gong show! I don't do drugs, but I sure felt like I was on them!"

- "One of the mermaids out front ran over to grab a nearby guy in a wheelchair, yelling "Free spin! Free spin!" as they whirled round and round :-D  Yes, if you spent too long in here, between the pea-soup smoke, cheap booze and deep-fried delights in back, you could shave a few weeks off your life (and still have change from your 20). But this place makes me smile even to think about it."

I just hope to survive it, wish me luck.


  1. Eww... deep fried Twinkies? Two wrongs don't make a right! Bring Pepto.

  2. Not to mention deep fried OREOS! I think I will stick to the windex strength drinks instead...