Friday, May 14, 2010

The Nothing Fight

Last year about this time I went to see Dane Cook at the Air Canada Center and it was a great show. Today I was thinking about some of my favourite Dane Cook bits and I remembered about the "Nothing Fight".

If you are not familiar with the "Nothing Fight", the term is basically a description of how a seemingly ridiculous reason for a fight turns into a clusterf**k fight of epic proportions. The one DC describes involves a boyfriend and girlfriend shopping together in the grocery store and the guy asks the girl if they need jelly. The girl replies that she doesn't know and that she doesn't even like jelly. This spirals out of control as they continue to antagonize each other over whether or not there is jelly at home, much to Cook's delight.

I started thinking about my own unique brushes with the Nothing Fight and how this phenomenon has changed my life. I've had a long term relationship end from a Nothing Fight. It starts out as a simple debate or disagreement, takes an epic wrong turn and BOOM you're left wondering how the hell we got here? My theory is that there is an underlying tension there and this slight disagreement is an opportunity for it to be addressed. I'm not a relationship doctor, I just play one on TV.

My last long term relationship ended after a Nothing Fight spiraled out of control and ended up smack dab in the middle of F**kville. It actually started from trying to decide what we wanted to order for take-out food. Yes take-out food. It was basically just a decision between Chinese food and pizza. I suggested pizza and let's just say she REALLY didn't want pizza. We were done a few days later.

One other time I remember getting into an argument with my live-in girlfriend because I brought her home a coffee with two sugars in it and she only wanted one sugar. I honestly can't remember if I ordered it with two sugars or they just gave me two sugars in it by mistake. I made a joke about how I figured she could use a little extra sweetness and she somehow turned it into me not knowing her at all. That turned into a fight that lasted over 2 days.

Beware this strange occurrence my friends, it can strike when you least expect it and the results can be devastating. Keep your wits about you and manage arguments before they explode into full blown fights. Be safe out there...

5 comments:

  1. one of my fav DC bits.

    And if you tell a girl she needs extra sweetness, you are going to get hit with a brick from an under-caffeinated chick. That is just common sense. Use your brain.

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  2. Yes but I brought her a coffee out of the blue, she did not request a coffee. She should have just drank it and been happy!

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  3. you didn't know her at all...summer ruiner

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  4. I had been crying since I met her...

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  5. My friend went off on her boyfriend yesterday because he asked her if she wanted onions in her burger. It made me think of this post.
    =o)

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