The Numbers Game

I recently watched the movie "She's Out of My League" and it got me thinking about the expectations of dating. I found the movie surprisingly entertaining, there were a couple of genuine laugh-out-loud moments. The movie made me think of the mechanics in the dating world and how matches are made.

Theoretically we are all given a certain number which can vary depending on who is looking at us and what they value in looks (recently I made the mistake of answering the question "What would you rate me??" while on a date - EPIC FAIL, but that is another blog). The theory is that you can usually only date someone that is within 2 points of yourself. Say you picture yourself a solid "7", that means you should be able to reasonably date someone that is either up to a "9" or down to a "5". Although we never would admit it, none of us want to date down. We all want to overachieve. Nobody wants to be the 7 dating the 5 because he/she has a great personality. Conversely, some people can't handle dating above the threshold because they become insecure and worry about the other person wanting to trade up. It really is like walking a tight rope over a chasm of razorblades at times. I would also argue that if you are above a 5 you don't want to date below a 5. I always say "Awwww..." when I see two really ugly people together, they know what they're doing. They don't have to worry about being cheated on and all that nonsense, they're just happy to be getting some :).

Speaking from experience I have been on both ends of the dating stick. I've dated a "10" and I've also dated a step up from a swamp creature. Personally I prefer the 10. It is more tolerable for me to see people openly wonder what the hell my girlfriend is thinking than it is for people to openly wonder what the hell I am thinking. But that's just me. Ideally nobody looks at us wondering what the hell my date and I thinking because we're that couple that just looks like we should be together. We've both maxed out.

The barebones numbers get way more complicated when you factor in personality and other traits. If you have the IQ of a piece of stale bread, subtract at least 2 points. If you're funny, add up to 2 points. If you're athletic or can play an instrument, add at least 1 point. That is why you see 6's with 10's. If you're not making your girl stare lovingly at your soap opera good looks, you better be making her laugh. Explaining the theory of relativity or the Fibonacci sequence to her likely will not have the same effect.

The point of all this is that for the optimum chance of success, date within your range (+ or - 2). If you're one of the people currently dating out of your league then by all means act like you belong there and have some confidence about it.

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