More Random Thinkings...

I present you with the second installment of random thoughts floating around in my mind. These are things I may or may not spend much time thinking about, but they nonetheless pop up and steal away some brain power from time to time...In no particular order here they are:

The site http://www.feedthepig.org/ is nowhere near as fun as you'd think it would be based on the name alone. Quite disappointing actually. I feel like writing them a letter telling them they have wasted a potentially great website name.

Obama delays his promise to gays. Basically up to this point "gay" people are not technically "allowed" in the US military. However, many of them have joined and are serving and there is generally a do not ask, do not tell kind of mentality surrounding it. Obama has promised that he would lift the ban on openly gay people in the military and it is taking longer it should. The way I look at it, if someone is foolish enough to volunteer to get shot at they can do it wearing a pink tu-tu, a fur hat, with a tattoo that says "I'm Gay!" on their forehead listening to the Village People for all I care. It takes a special kind of person to go into a career knowing it may cost them their life, if that person happens to have a lisp and frosted tips, so be it.

I wish I could go into the bank and order oversized cheques, like the ones you used to see when someone won a million dollars from Publisher's Clearing House. I would use them to pay my rent. It would be fantastic watching my 100lb Portuguese landlady struggling to make it out the door with it, fitting it in her backseat, to take it to get it cashed. There's no depositing that in the bank machine. Besides, they just look cool. You could get a cheque for $2 and feel important for a few minutes.

If you ever get a chance to ride in a time machine and you are going to the future, would sticking your arm out the window turn it into a fossil?

Have you ever been more into the "idea" of someone more than the actual person?

This one is kind of gross but I will say it anyways. Animals such as dogs have different blood types. Do different breeds of dog have different blood types? Do vets yell out "I need 2 pints of cocker-poo STAT!"? I could likely Google that but it is more fun to wonder.

Do you ever have dreams where evil Teletubbies take you hostage and keep making those messed up noises they make at you? Yeah me neither...

Am I the only person that finds it very alarming that the people who definitely should not be having kids seem to be procreating at an alarming rate? Smart people seem to stop having kids after 1 or 2, but the Jerry Springer types think 4-6 is a good number. Need proof? Go to Walmart.

Until next time, stay thirsty my friends.

Adventures at Wallymart

It's been a while since I've posted an entry. It's hard when I've set such a high standard of blogging for myself and I have all these ideas. Unfortunately none of them really inspire me to write them in the way to do them the proper justice. Perhaps what I've expected all along is true and I am my own worst enemy. Ain't that a B. I will leave you with this 100% true story...

Many moons ago, in a place not too far away...

I am on an adventure in the wonderful place we call Walmart. I am taking my time going through the aisles in full bargain hunter mode. This is where my primal hunting mode kicks in the most, when I am hunting for deals in Walmart. My car needed an oil change so I pick up a 4 Liter jug of oil. As I am wandering around contemplating the joys of low prices I realize that I should be a good boyscout and pick up some prophylactics. I make a bee line over to the pharmacy and check out the 800 different varieties. After careful deliberation I make my choice and proceed to the elderly gentleman at the cash in the pharmacy. He is in my estimation at least 75 yrs old. I put my 4 liter jug of motor oil and my box of condoms on the counter and I can tell that this guy is a tiny bit perplexed over my purchases. I decide to throw a little light on the mystery and I ask "You can use oil-based lubricant with these right?". The look on his face was priceless, he was totally speechless and about 15 shades of red (none of them a particularly flattering shade). At this point I am a bit worried the guy may have a heart attack but he manages to mumble something I couldn't make out and I pay for the purchases with a totally straight face. I manage to make it around the corner of the pharmacy before breaking out into hysterical laughter. Just one of my crowning achievements in life. This happened at least 7 years ago and it still makes me laugh when I remember the guy's face. Hopefully as you imagine it, it makes you smile and laugh as well.

On another note, I saw Inglourious Basterds yesterday and it was a wicked movie. I loved it. Brad Pitt is absolutely hilarious. Go see it tonight if you can.

Maybe next time I will tell you my Unicef story. Stay tuned and stay thirsty my friends.